Recently I’ve gotten a good deal of positive feedback regarding this blog, some of which has come from photographers.  However, I can’t help but feel that for every positive remark, a negative one from someone else has remained unsaid.  Modeling is how I make my living, and I’m very concerned that this blog may be making me a less-than-desirable model in the eyes of some people.

I will also be removing from public viewing some of my more opinionated entries for the time being.

The answer: Not really, and sort of.

It’s not really safe because I don’t check references that photographers and artists who I schedule work with give to me most of the time- I know I should, but I usually don’t.  I assume because they’ve got an online page on a modeling networking site linked to other models, or seem to know what they’re talking about, that they are.  That’s not to say that I never check references- I do, sometimes.  Just not like I should.

It’s sort of safe because, when you look at it rationally, the risk isn’t that great.  There are huge model-photographer networking sites out there that wouldn’t exist if models were being butchered on a regular basis.  Is working with a photographer- even when shooting nude or bondage work content- any safer than going home with a guy you picked up at a local bar or club?

My advice to women considering trying internet modeling is to contact models that the the photographer/artist has previously worked with, and ask about their experiences with that person.  If something doesn’t sit right with you, it’s better to cancel or back out of the shoot than to risk putting yourself in an uncomfortable and potentialy dangerous situation. 

Also, if something happens during the shoot that you’re unhappy with, say something- and, if you must, leave.  Bring a cell phone with you so you can call a cab in case, like me, you don’t drive but need to extract yourself from a situation.  It’s better to get a reputation for being a flake who leaves in the middle of shoots than to put up with a photographer who’s doing something that’s upsetting.

A final word- keep in mind that, like most things, you’re much more likely to be killed or injured in a car accident on the way to a shoot than at the actual shoot.

David LeBeck, January 2007.  A safe, good guy- and excellent photographer. 

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I was thinking the evening after his request about this.  I was wondering what it meant, and why it had affected me so deeply.

I usually don’t buy into karma and messages from above and crap, but sometimes I question the path I’m going down at the moment.  This served as sort of a wake-up call: yes, you are going in the right direction.

It’s not necessarily about respect from other people; it’s about being able to be proud of myself on multiple levels- to have inspired and helped people.

This request was something very concrete, something that said, “You’re where you should be.  Don’t make any excuses, because you have nothing to excuse.”

A lot of people could have told me that; even I could have told me that.  But sometimes you need something that just stops you in your tracks- something that doesn’t tell you, but shows you. 

Melvin Moten, February 2007.

Here are my nominations for this award (my apologies if they’ve already been nominated):

-Sex in the Public Square

-The Story Beneath the Skin (although Melvin better start updating again…or else.  Oh, and not safe for work)

-Real Adult Sex

-God is My Co-Dependent (despite the fact that we’ve had a falling-out of Shakespearen proportions.)

-And last, but not least in any sense of the word, Heather Corinna’s Pure As the Driven Slush.

An honorable mention to Sexual Evolution, which has already been given the award.

D. Brian Nelson, January 2007.

I think that there are two reasons for my surprise.  The first is that those things are very much not a part of my life, and when I meet someone, either online or off, who does what I do, I unknowingly assume that their lives mirror mine in other ways, too.

The second reason is that, on some level, I’m like a good deal of the rest of the population- I associate nudity with sex.  How could someone so sexual as to take off their clothes on a regular basis for the camera be tied down by marriage and offspring?

Of course, this line of thinking is pure idiocy on my part- for goodness’ sake, I’m a nude model myself.  I know it’s not about uninhibited sexuality that could never be reigned down by a wedding ring; it’s sometimes about having fun, it’s sometimes about making money, and it’s sometimes about both.

It’s amazing to discover that sometimes incorrect stereotypes and assumptions are so deeply rooted in society that even the people they are about believe them.

Melvin Moten, February 2007.

One day, when I retire from nude modeling, I’ll write about the ins-and-outs of my relationship with my parents in detail.  Until then, I leave you with this picture.

Martini, October 2006.

I also emailed them to my boyfriend so I could share the wonderful pictures that had just been taken of me, as is my usual habit.

When I did so, I felt a twinge of panic; of course, he knew what was going to be in the photos, but they’d always been purely hypothetical.  Now that they were reality, would he be uncomfortable or angry about them?

When we talked later online, I asked him flat out about the photos- was he angry or upset with me about these photos?

He replied, “How could I ever be mad about pictures of the woman I love?”

Good answer.

D. Brian Nelson, January 2007. 

After not much luck with the apartment/roommate search, I went on craig’s list a couple of weeks ago and posted the following, mostly as a joke:

Okay, I tried the normal ad. Now’s the honest one.I’m moving to Seattle. I need a place to stay April 2nd til the 1st of May. Why pick me?

The resulting emails: priceless.

I didn’t find a place to live, though.

Melvin Moten, Febuary 2007.