Friday, September 01, 2006

Do as I say...

What I find interesting about outspoken feminists- and I suppose it's true for other outspoken something-ists, as well- is that there's a deep undercurrent of "Do as I say, not as I do."

I'm also speaking from a personal level.

The advice I gave to my friends- who often came to me specifically because I gave good, girl-positive advice, I've promptly thrown to the wind again and again. Sometimes I've come out alright, sometimes not.

It's so easy to parade about, to want to revolutionize society- and to want to judge other women who don't see eye to eye with you on what equality really means, or how to go about achieving it.

My belief is that part of today's feminism has to be on a personal level. It's one thing to keep pushing for easy access to birth control, to march against sexism in the workplace, to tell your friend to "dump that motherfucking loser who makes you feel worse, not better, about yourself."

It's another thing to look in the mirror and like how you look, and, more importantly, who you are.

I often find it fascinating to look over this blog and read the more political, preachy entries- I feel that if people really knew how I acted and felt, and the contrast between the ideal and the reality, that my carefully-written entries would dissolve into a meaningless puddle of mere letters.

Photography by John, August 2006.


ARConn said...

Just about everyone is a hypocrite, to one degree or another.
Talking is easy, it's intellectual and conscious, and we can control what we say and think quite easily, most of the time.
But our living-life actions tend to come out of our subconscious emotions. The same subconscious emotions that, throughout our lives, are shaped by the tide of meta-messages within the sea of cultural interaction, while our conscious minds are busy somewhere else.

5:15 PM  
Sarah Louise Parry said...

I thought I'd just leave a post to say that I really like the new layout, it really looks far more professional :)

6:31 AM  
B said...

In what sense do you feel you live your life differently than you advise people on this page?

Do you mean getting stuck with less-than-optimal S/O's yourself? Or something else? Is it that bad that you only hint at it?


2:07 PM  
Candy said...


What I don't want to share with the public, I don't write.

I will say that all three of my long term relationships were with wonderful people.

2:20 PM  
LouiseBrooksLover said...

While true, truth can be fatiguing to live up to 24/7. I know I try to live up to my philosophies most of the time, but the glaring times I don't stand out to me maybe more than they should. It's truly a hard thing to follow even the right path all the time.

I have an artistic temperment, and it certainly doesn't help, either. While my art does give me conviction and often allows me to live up to those beliefs, it quite often leads me down little rabbit holes of novelty and falsehood that just might be utterly NECESSARY. I do know my art suffers if I focus on one thing, even if it is something as noble as the truth.

3:19 PM  
Daniel Haughton said...

Candy, you do the best you can. Full stop. That is all anyone, including yourself, can ask of you. Remember, we are always our own worst critics.

2:14 AM  

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