Sunday, September 03, 2006

Me and Pornography.

Why don't I do porn? I'm already naked- a little more and I could be making a lot more.

There are several reasons, none of which have to do with morality. I believe that it's unethical to hurt people intentionally; I believe that there's nothing unethical about getting it on for the camera and some cash.

The first reason is my comfort level. I'm uncomfortable spreading my legs and showing pink intentionally, as well as with posing with people I don't know. So, I don't do those things. I can only imagine that having sex with people I don't know would be extremely difficult to pull off without spreading my legs at least part of the time- not to mention that whole comfort thing.

The second reason is because, from what I can tell, pornography is a very easy field to burn out in. Any job is, but sex has added to and enriched my life- I feel that by making it my career, I run a big risk of becoming burned out- and losing, for at least a little while, something that I consider to be life-affirming.

The third reason is that I worry about safety and health- shooting nudes with photographers is risky enough. Shooting hardcore pornography strikes me as even riskier- and, add to that the risk of STDs and pregnancy; if you're smart, it's greatly reduced- but it's there.

The fourth and final reason- I just don't think that I'm talented enough. No, really. I have trouble smiling for the camera without looking like I'm plotting revenge- how in god's name am I supposed to fake an orgasm?

Photography by Bob Coulter, June 2006.


Daniel Haughton said...

You keep on doing what you do, hon. Leave the porn to people who are comfy doing it. *HUGGLES*

2:00 AM  
A said...

a-man oh man, do i ever know what you mean.

12:17 PM  
LouiseBrooksLover said...

I've only recently found this blog, but I'm really enjoying reading it...I think a lot of the pleasure comes from getting to know your mind as well as your body but I can honestly say that inserting (bad choice of words) guys in here or adding a bunch of women that we don't know or care about yet would lessen the effect the blog has, at least on me. Nudity is so much hotter when it has context. Plain nudity got me excited when I was I've got to have more and I certainly receive it here. The fact that you're both highly intelligent and interesting makes me want to see you naked all the more.

3:11 PM  
Anonymous said...

As a person who works in the adult film industry…. All your points are very valid. Burn out is one of the biggest issues amongst performers. But you can set your own pace.

Safety i.e. STDs are always an issue but they test and test and test some more on a regular basis. So you’d be surprised how well health concerns are addressed.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous said...

Love the blog; I wish everyone could be as sensible and comfortable with their bodies as you seem to be.

You've given the idea of going further with your modeling a little thought, and it's something that will keep coming up as long as you're modeling. Maybe one day you'll find yourself comfortable taking things up a notch, maybe not. If you do, be selective. Lighting and photographing explicit nudity or sex well is very difficult. Exhibit A: almost the entire freaking web!

On the other hand, if you get a chance to work with a photographer that can pull it off (I've seen a few on michelle7-erotica, for instance), I hope you'll consider it. Why? Exhibit A again. The world needs more positive, beautiful images of human sexuality, in the same way it needs your positive images of the body. Were such images more common than most of the trash on the web, you probably wouldn't feel as much discomfort posing for more explicit photography.

A woman's vulva (or, for that matter, a man's erection) is lovely. Personally, I think there should be less concern with "showing pink" than how it is shown --- and ultimately viewed.

Can a feminist pose with her knees parted, naked to the world? Damn right she can, if she chooses.

You're beautiful. Be confident in that, and make your own path.

12:48 PM  
Unhinged said...

What the fuck are *HUGGLES*?

2:58 PM  
Daniel Haughton said...

You're a bright fellow. I'm sure you can figure it out.

7:19 PM  
Candy said...

lbl, anon #1, anon #2:

you all have valid points, but I'm really not taking outside influences into account.

I don't spread my legs because I don't want to.

11:12 PM  
empowered sexuality said...

Well if your looking out for the internet's best interests, it doesnt need another girl giving us her best gynocological display. Thousands of those photos get repetitive. And they are an unnatural expression of our sexual identity. Your feelings about what you choose not to do would make for an honest and interesting project.

Can a woman convince a pornstar to keep her legs closed even though the pornstar wants to express herself?

12:24 AM  
Daniel Haughton said...

I must inquire, what specifically is 'unnatural' about such expressions of sexuality? Is it the fact that only technology makes it possible? If so, is it not in our nature to develop technology (since we do it every day) and then to use said technology?

Or is it something else that makes it 'unnatural'? Perhaps that you personally do not believe anyone would naturally choose to do such things, despite the fact that they evidently choose to do so by the millions.

I do not mean to sound overly aggressive, but I dislike the labelling of anything as 'unnatural', as all things ultimately derive from nature. Even the most sterile of space modules or stagnant of toxic waste spills derived originally from nature and cannot truly be said to be 'unnatural'.

That is, however, merely my own personal belief.

7:07 PM  
B said...

1. There hasn't been good porn since the 1970's, although there are some erotic photographers (trying to remember names) that are really good.

2. You also have to think about it coming back to haunt you with a future S/O or job.

7:40 AM  
Candy said...

B- Haven't you mentioned the subject of what I do coming back to haunt me before?

If the only thing I regret in life is a few nude pictures, I'll have lived a pretty damn good life.

As for a future S/O- if they don't know and approve of what I'm doing, or have done, then they shouldn't be my S/O.

5:59 PM  
B said...

Yes, Candy, that was me.

I probably should have qualified my comment a little better. There is erotica that is on the edge of porn. By that I mean something that represents enthusiastic consensual behavior of two (or more people) going at it. Very life affirming, although that's just my opinion.

Then, there is the weird stuff that porn has merged into. Basically, bukakke, gang bangs, and just really abusive stuff. Technically, that's porn, too, and I tend to think of THAT as the kind of stuff that will really come back to haunt you. Because you have to wonder what happened in someone's early development where they felt they had to set the record for most acts of unprotected anal sex in a two hour period (just an extreme example).

I'm not sure what your definition of porn is because you seem adamant about not showing intimate body parts explicitly, and I can't think of any porn that doesn't do that. So, in a way, it sounds like you made your decision already.

And I'm only saying this because you never know where the road will take you in life. You might never see yourself as a mother or a teacher later on but aspirations change over time. And I just thought it might be a good idea to point it out even though you probably thought of that already.

To sum up, though, you are immensely enjoyable to look at in any venue.

10:53 PM  
Candy said...

B- I(or people involved in extreme porn, for that matter) don't need or desire a lecture.

12:46 AM  
Aurelia said...

There was something wrong with your comment link in the post about the no-show so i'm commenting here. I'm sure you meant to post his contact info so noone else would get sucked into the same shit. but i sent a little hate mail. i hope other people do it because even though it's kind of immature, it's quite effective! I know it's a total bummer to spend money on trying to make money and it not working. Best rule, that I always get screwed on if i don't follow it, is: get the money first.

And right on about the porn. The best thing you can do is respect your own personal limits. Because the money just isn't worth it.

1:43 AM  
Candy said...

Aurelia- My blog is regularly scanned by google. Every time the phrase "fokus foto" is googled, this page will pop up. I'm working on writing up a policy that I just send to people I'm working with that includes rates, cancellations, and travel info.

About the comments- I posted, then deleted a comment on that entry, so it works for me. Lately other people have been bitching about blogger and lack of being able to comment on posts, so it probably has something to do with that.

3:03 AM  
B said...

I didn't mean for it to come across as a lecture (although it's about as long as one). That's why I qualified my comments by saying you probably already considered them.

It's just after reading recently about people like Tamara Hoover (lost her job as a high-school art teacher) and Tod Ozmun (police chief who may be fired because his plus-size wife is a nude model), it seems like our culture has not become more accepting of past figure model work.

And I still maintain that extreme porn stars who engage in unprotected anal sex with multiple partners probably do need a lecture...

9:10 AM  
Daniel Haughton said...

Much as I hate to say it, B has a point. I am with Candy in the feeling that what one does is one's own damned business and the rest of the world should stay out of it, but the reality of life is that the rest of the world is rarely so accomodating.

Candy, I still say you keep on doing what you do and let everyone else bugger off.

3:18 AM  

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