Monday, January 30, 2006

Good Bush vs. Bad Bush.

I'm a huge fan of bush.

No, not Bush. The other bush. The good bush.

Many women choose to shave it all off- that's their choice, but I can't help but wonder why. I shave my bikini line and everything, and I like to keep things nice and trimmed, but I could never bring myself to shave that little tuft in front.

I like it because it makes me look like a woman, not a little girl. I like it because my boyfriend likes it. I like it because it's one less thing to worry about getting ingrown hairs on. I like it because I don't like the other Bush, and I get the giggles whenever I listen or read about Bush, and pretend that they're really talking about the other bush. The good bush.

This entry is dedicated to the good bush. Here are some pictures.

Photograph by Gary. November 2005.

Photograph by me. January 2006.

Photograph by me. January 2006.

Photograph by me. January 2006.

Photograph by Ricky. January 2006.

Bad Bush.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I'm going to be busy: here are naked pics.

I'm going to be pretty busy over the next few days, so I thought I'd put up some more self-portrait test shots for I'm planning to take an entire series in this theme once I have another sunny morning to spare and send them in. Please enjoy.

Photography by me; January 2006.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Me and my goose.

I'm planning on submitting a set of photos to the website I shot myself. These are a couple sample photos I took of myself and a gooseneck squash. I scrapped the idea of a complete photoset, because there's only so much you can do with a gooseneck squash that doesn't involve penetration, and I'm not comfortable or stretchy enough for that.

Photography by me, January 2006.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

A Naked Feminist: Essential Reading.

I thought I'd make a list of all the wonderful books(and one magazine) out there that have enriched my life. There's no way I could possibly name them all, so here are the basics.

The cooking bible. I don't cook much, but when I do, I find the recipe in here.

The best of Bust magazine.

It's a classic. From a literary standpoint, I feel it's perfect book.

This book is worth is just for the marvelous images in it- not to mention the wonderful advice and step-by-step instructions.

Don't straighten your curls, celebrate them!

I love Frida Kahlo! This book provides an insight into her unique work.

David Sedaris' hilarious collection of short stories.

A hilarious and haunting graphic novel.

Don't know who Ana Mendieta is? If you have any interest in art, you should!

The revised edition of the classic. Every single girl out there should be given one before puberty.

My second-favorite poet.

My favorite poet. The edition has all of her poems, unedited.

A friend loaned me this two and a half years ago. I still haven't given it back.

I read it for school when I was 14, and it still makes me cry.

Feminist response to pop culture. The Ms. Magazine for my generation.

Friday, January 20, 2006


So, I have this series of photos of myself in/out of a slip, taken by my boyfriend Ricky. Since they're pretty nice, and I could use some publicity/money, I decided to submit them to a website, No Fauxxx. Rejected- but fair enough, because No Fauxxx is really about more unusual stuff than simple slips. I applied to another site, Fatal Beauty, and attached photos of my set- but they rejected me, too. Almost too quickly- when the form asked if I had ever been on any other websites, maybe putting down See Candy Bleed scared them off.

As a joke, I've sent my set into Suicidegirls. I mean, what's more alternative than a naked feminist with a menstruation site?

A sample photograph from my photoset. Taken by Ricky, January 2006.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Corset Preview.

I'm planning on writing a long entry about corsets and my love for them- as well as my distaste for their origin and history. In addition, I'll soon be posting some new photographs of myself in a corset. I thought I'd put up a teaser image.

Photography by Chip. January 2006.

MLK day entry.

I've just realized something about the list of beautiful women I've made. All of them are white. Is it because it's a personal preference of mine, or because in the nude/fetish/porn model industry, white is the norm? I'm hoping it's the latter.

The fact that my list is all white is a little ironic- some people might argue that I'm not white. I consider myself to be, but other people don't. My father is Lebanese- but, technically speaking, Arab people are white, not to mention the fact that lots of people in Lebanon don't consider themselves Arab.

Anyway, I would like to encourage women of color, as well as white women, to get naked. In this spirit, here's a photo of the beautiful Masuimi Max.

Reproductive Rights.

I suppose it's time for me to compose my very first truly controversial entry in this blog. This one will be about that utterly divisive and uncomfortable subject: abortion.

I consider myself pro-choice. However, I understand the view point of some of the anti-abortion people out there. If you believe it's wrong, you believe it's wrong. There's no changing that.

However, I think the anit-abortion movement is going about this the wrong way- making abortion illegal will not stop it from happening.

If you consider yourself in this group, here's what, in my uneducated, biased opinion, you should do in order to lower the number of abortions performed:

1. Encourage proper sex education in high schools, and teach your children about contraception. Give them all the facts, and have an open dialogue. When I was 15, we were lectured in high school about how condoms were very hard to use and faulty. I remember thinking, "Why use them at all?" This is not an effective method of preventing pregnancies.

2. Make sure that insurance companies cover all forms of contraception, from the pill to diaphrams to condoms.

3. Make sure that women without insurance also have access to free contraception.

4. Make the world a more welcoming place for children. Volunteer to work with kids.

5. Donate your money and/or your time to rape crisis and education centers.

6. Push for bills and laws that would make having children more affordable. Help improve public education and health care for children.

7. Protest pharmacies that refuse to give women birth control pills and the morning after pill.

8. Push for the morning after pill to become an OTC drug.

9. Encourage an atmosphere where women can be more open about their wants and needs sexually. Make it okay for women to be in touch with and aware of their bodies and their sexuality.

10. There are so many unwanted children already alive. Consider becoming an adoptive or foster parent- and not just to a white, healthy newborn.

It is my belief- and maybe I'm just naive- that these things will help eliminate abortions more than all the protesting outside of clinics ever will. No one wants to have an abortion.

Domenic Shoot, part 2.

Here are two more photos from my shoot with Domenic. I think the first image is one of my favorites ever taken of me.

Photography by Domenic. January, 2006.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Beautiful Women.

I consider myself to be a straight but open-minded girl. That said, there are few things I enjoy more than looking at beautiful women online. Inspired by the sex blog Fleshbot's Top Ten Hotties of 2005, I've decided to make my own list of beautiful, naked women.

Amina Munster is a Suicidegirl with not only an awesome chestpiece, but an airbrushed artificial leg as well. BME has an article about her, and the loss of her leg.

Apnea is a 20 year old student like me. Unlike me, however, she is a former Suicidegirl with her own recently launched pay website.

Aprella is a latex and fetishwear model with turquoise hair. She is absolutely stunning, and her site contains a significant free gallery of images.

What can I say about Bella Vendetta? In addition to being gorgeous and sometimes naked, she has her own website of kinks(soon to be featuring me) as well as her own line of custom clothing.

I've mentioned Furry Girl before in this blog, but she most definitely deserves another mention. She's adorable, sexy, and unshaven. She also has websites featuring porn made by vegetarians and vegans, vegan sex toys, and menstruation porn.

Shyly is a fat activist, and is quite sizable herself. Usually I(and most of the western world) don't associate "fat" with "beautiful"- but her website made me see things in a new light. She took my breath away the first time I saw pictures of her.

Twwly, last but not least, is a gorgeously tattooed Suicidegirl. Another beautiful, naked woman.

Domenic shoot: part 1.

I'll be posting more from this photoshoot later. For now, here are two images. This was my first time having my hair and makeup professionally done.

Photography by Domenic. January, 2006.

Ricky's photography.

Though a bit DIY in quality, I thought I'd share these photos taken of me by my boyfriend, Ricky.

Taken by Ricky, December 2005. Slightly photoshopped by me.

Saturday, January 14, 2006


I've noticed a contradiction in American culture. It's okay to go to a strip club, or watch porn- in fact, it's considered normal, especially for young men. If they show no interest in doing either of these things, in fact- then there might be something wrong with them.

However, it's not okay to be a stripper or do pornography. That's socially unacceptable. Should a young woman want or choose to do these things- there's probably something wrong with them.

What gets to me the most is that these ideas of what's proper and correct for a woman are often enforced by the same people who see no problem with going to a strip club once in a while.

Don't get me wrong- I'm not saying that I think stripping or pornography is wrong, or anti-feminist- look at my websites! I'm saying that it's completely and utterly hypocritical to think it's wrong for a girl to be stripping, and then go to strip clubs yourself.

It's exactly the same with people who rant and rave about "illegals" taking over our country, and then go enjoy a nice, big, fresh bowl of strawberries picked by- you guessed it- illegal immigrants.

You can't have it both ways. Either it's okay, or it's not. If you're not okay with your sister doing pornography or stripping- don't be part of the market for those things.


I went all the way to North Carolina to shoot with Emanuel. I caught a six am bus and didn't get back until after midnight. It was worth it.

This first photo was a showcase image on

Photography by Emanuel. December, 2005.

Friday, January 13, 2006


I'm taking a break from modeling for about a month or two for both academic and health reasons. Apologies to all those I've been planning to work with- I promise I will be back, with red hair and few clothes, as soon as possible.

Don't worry, you can still see me at, which will continue to be updated, and my new photo blog,

Suicide Suicide

SuicideGirls, the biggest altporn website out there, has been having some problems. Go here to see unhappy former models and members talking about it.

It seems that SuicideGirls is not the indie, women-friendly place that it claims itself to be. A model is "archived," or kicked off the site, if they say something bad about SuicideGirls or model for another site. However, their photo sets remain...they, the models, just no longer have access to the site, or their own images. Sounds creepy and fascist to me.

I always suspected something after they had a brief partnership with Playboy.

But, I just brushed it off as something that was no big deal, and applied to be a SuicideGirl. This was before I did some google research, and realized that this was not the kind of site I probably want to be involved with.

Here's the thing: Suicidegirls is committing suicide by kicking girls off the site. It's also said to see this kind of thing arise from something that had so much potential. I know that there's somewhere out there where naked girls and feminism can live in harmony, but it's not here.

Shooting with Mike.

It's hard to believe that all of these photographs were taken over the course of one shoot that only lasted a couple of hours or so. Up until this shoot, my portfolio didn't have any truly simple nudes- I always happened to be in a pile of prescription bottles or breaking public nudity laws.

Photography by Mike, taken in December, 2005.

Porn I like.

There are two sites I'm enjoying at the moment: and No Fauxxx.

Furry Girl is a self-described "natural unshaved girl." What this means, in today's terms, is that she's hairy because she doesn't shave her legs, bush, or pits. Or anything else, for that matter. She's certainly not excessively hairy(she should try being half arab, like me!). While being hairy is her selling point, that's not what drew me to her site. It's her charm- she looks utterly happy to be herself and to be doing porn. She's cute, too. She's also the one responsible for, a site that features porn created by vegetarians and vegans, and Erotic Red. I would absolutely recommend giving a look.

No Fauxxx is an indie website dedicated to porn featuring, well, everyone. There are boys, girls, and mtf and ftm transexxuals. Chubby, thin, and in between, they're here. Gay couples and straight couples. How could I not love a site like this? My only mild criticism is that I want more of it. I'd love to see its content expanded. This is another site to give a look or two at.

Almost Naked with Patrick.

The results of my first shoot with Patrick. As you can see, the less I'm wearing, the better I tend to photograph. I also have to give credit to Patrick's amazing photoshop skills- I came to the shoot with a mark on my temple where my boyfriend accidently kicked me the night before. (Seriously. You can't make something like that up.)

Photographs taken in December, 2005 by Patrick.

Later on I will be posting photos from our second photoshoot together.

Selected Quotes: erotica and pornography

"It's red hot, mate. I hate to think of this sort of book getting in the wrong hands. As soon as I've finished this, I shall recommend they ban it."-Tony Hancock

"Erotica is pornography I am willing to publicly admit I like." -Spider Robinson

"Pornographers are the enemies of women only because our contemporary ideology of pornography does not encompass the possibility of change, as if we were the slaves of history and not its makers. Pornography is a satire on human pretensions."-Angela Carter

"People who watch hard-core sex films may be wasting their lives, damaging their morals, or ruining their personal relationships. They are not doing any harm to innocent people, which is more than can be said for the government's crusaders against pornography."-Stephen Chapman

"Historically, radical feminism portrayed pornography as exploitative. Now we're saying it can be beautiful."-Laura Thomas

"There's only one good test of pornography. Get twelve normal men to read the book, and then ask them, 'Did you get an erection?' If the answer is 'Yes' from a majority of the twelve, then the book is pornographic."-W. H. Auden

"Sexism, not sex, degrades women. And the answer to bad pornography is good pornography, not no pornography."-Abby Ehmann

Naked in DC: shooting with Al

I worked with Al on a deserted Sunday morning in DC in order to produce some very interesting images. I absolutely love these images- the cold and risk of being arrested was most definitely worth it.

Photography and concept by Al. Taken in December, 2005.

A rant from the past: art vs. porn.

Porn is the kind of thing that I only want to do with certain people: me and my boyfriend, as of now. I'm not talking about being in front of the lens: I'm talking being involved with the actual making of it. I want to be in control of the explicit images that I produce. I want to decide which websites I submit them to. At that point, they no longer belong to me.

Art photography/modeling is something I put in a different category. You can argue that naked is naked, and that there's really no difference. Maybe you're right. All I know is that I feel comfortable doing different things with different people.

I sometimes feel that by pursuing these avenues I'm betraying feminism. That I'm just adding to the objectification of women. And I might be. But I think what's more important is that I'm either a)controlling the images, or b)working with an artist to produce images. I chant that feminism is about choice, but it's also about control. And what isn't? Race, class, age- what makes these things so significant is different levels of control within them, and different illusions of control within them. So maybe, when talking about porn and modeling, we shouldn't be focusing on the fact that they objectify women. We should focus on who has the control in a field that profits from the images of beautiful, sexy women. I say that those women should have the control.

Gary photoshoot.

These photos are the results of the first photoshoot I had with a "real" photographer- not my boyfriend. I found Gary on craigslist while browsing the "gigs" section, and decided to give a TFP/CD(time for prints/cd) modeling shoot a try

Photographs taken by Gary in November, 2005.

I can't recommend him enough as a photographer- easy to work with, and as you can see, the photographs came out great. The prescription bottles were my idea, as I tend to be both a packrat and an artist. Once these photos were taken, there was no going back- I decided to pursure modeling as a hobby- particularly nude modeling.

My first photos.

The first photographs of me were taken by my boyfriend, Ricky. He's still my favorite person to pose for.

Taken in September 2005, by Ricky

Taken in October(?) 2005 by Ricky.

The photographer and sweetheart himself, September 2005. Taken by me.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The beginning

Photograph taken in August, 2005, by me.

This photograph was taken after I had cut off the vast majority of my long, curly hair. Although I didn't know it, it was the beginning of a transformation.

Before the haircut, July 2005. Getting my first tattoos. Taken by my friend Marissa.

I had been involved with someone who hated tattoos, and loved my long hair. Hell hath no fury like a woman shorn. Needless to say, things ended.